i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
