I have demons in me.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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