Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
