maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it's like heaven, but drunker
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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