Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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