Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
