life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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