Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
