she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
