Will you blow on my dice?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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