I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
