Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
