I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
