hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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