I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
