Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
