But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
