So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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