There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
