The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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