I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
where are my eyebrows?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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