I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
