Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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