You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
