i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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