im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
