plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we're making bets on your personal life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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