I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
