I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize