Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I supernannyed him into submission
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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