Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize