omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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