Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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