i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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