Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
