best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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