the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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