Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
