I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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