im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm bleeding and have questions
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
