One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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