Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
