No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
