Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
