i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
