worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
