rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
