My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
