Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
