I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You need Xanax blowdarts
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
