Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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