the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
