I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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