Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
