She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
