goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
