I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
