i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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