she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
