so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
